We all know this scene from movies: a man and a woman run into each other on the street, they look into each other’s eyes and – BOOM – fall deeply in love.
Sounds great! Sounds fast! And let’s be honest, we all dreamed about love at first sight happening to us one day. We imagined that we would realize immediately who our soul partner is and that there would be this really special, unique feeling about him right away like with no other person before. But it never happened. Because that’s not how falling in love works.
I’ve been in love a couple of times. The truth is: it was never love at first sight. Even though I knew that there was the slight possibility that I could fall in love with him, I didn’t do it right away. It took days or weeks until first feelings loomed. It took time, not just a single glance.
You realize immediately if there is the chance that you might fall in love with a person, may it be a stranger who passes by, a colleague at work, a travel companion or a roommate. It takes seconds to check him out: eyes, voice, laugh, walk, posture, behavior, style. I think we all secretly do. And after the first impression it’s super hard and mostly impossible to change it – at least in a positive way. You decide: friend zone, please stay a stranger zone, acquaintance zone and possibly love zone. If you’re not into him now, you won’t be later, because you already made a decision – half unconsciously and half consciously. Does he have a chance, or doesn’t he? It takes one glance to say “maybe” or “better not”.
That doesn’t mean that a relationship is less special just because you haven’t been in love right away. It just means that love at first sight like we imagine it doesn’t exist. Love at first sight is merely saying “I MIGHT fall in love with you”, giving it a chance and then finding out if you were right about it or not. It’s saying yes to a chance. No more, no less.
We don’t fall in love with an appearance, we fall in love with a person. And a glance is just not enough to sum a person up. Remember that the next time you find yourself giving someone a chance. Don’t discredit them because you don’t fall in love right away. Have fun with the chance zone, and enjoy every minute of getting to know a person and finding out if you truly do love them.